orangelover

miss me :)

2010-04-26T18:58:00.002+08:00

My blog is OFFICIALLY DEAD

well not really. I'll come back when i miss it. :)

WHAT FOR I STAY AT HOME?

2010-04-24T14:32:00.002+08:00

BESIDES HAVING FOOD TO EAT AND CLOTHES TO WEAR

ITS ALWAYS THE PLACE I MOSTLY GOT HURT

underage 18

2010-04-24T13:25:00.003+08:00

OMGWTFBBQROLFWTHFMLDAMNFUGG

so true. found out there's so much common comparing with ma life.

2010-04-24T11:53:00.004+08:00

welcome to my life-- hannah

never would someone look at other ppl and think, i know exactly how her/his life is. because by looking at someone, you can't tell the pain, the hurt the trouble, problems they're having.

i guess, honestly, turning 16 is the worst thing that has happened to me. this year is like living hell. i'm older and i have responsibilities and decisions to make. i'm almost an adult and i have to think for myself. so far, this year hasn't been a great year for me. i don't like it. hate it to the max.

ppl look and stare at me, and no one would know exactly what is happening do they? the situation i'm in, the happenings surrounding me, they can try to understand but they won't actually do if only they've been through the same thing. funny tat they say they understand, but no they don. they just don.

i've never said these kinda things, cuz i always tell myself there will be hope, and i do get emo sometimes and i'm juz a normal human being that gets angry sad or depressed. all i know is everything happen for a reason, but i keep asking myself why are all these happening? everything, i mean everything, can seem to be fine for only one second, and the next thing everything would come crashing down.

i won't say i was brought up from a problem family, but i don't think right now at this stage i come from a happy family either. yeah right you'll say every family quarrel, aruge, but you have no idea how i live my life everyday. i won't compare myself with anyone, and i don't wan anyone comparing my life with them, pls don't, cuz we're just different ppl with different lives.

starting from this year, i realised, everything is different. i had alot of times when i'm alone, and my mind just wander around without my control. n it made me see things even clearer. when you're alone, bullshit happens n ppl laugh at you, talks about you, wadeva bullcrap can happen. i'm just a fckin lonely person anyway. used to be n always will be. i still wish i could count on someone that can always be there, i've lost tat someone. i don't think i can handle everything myself yet, i'm not ready for independence.

you'll probably think, well my life is not that bad, why am i so fcking depressed and can't stop complaining. well maybe because what happened in my life or my past cause my personality to be like tat, i was brought up in this way and if you could live like me for just one day. if only you could.

days when i shed tears are uncountable. as if anybody cares? i just need some affirmation, encouragement, attention from ppl. i'm still a teenager and i know i need it. but life's different here, nobody seem to care, and when they do, they still don get it. i can't seem to find a suitable time to communicate with you, because there's never a suitable time to even talk properly, that is minus the yelling and shouting.

life is so hectic for me right now and i can hardly breathe. time is always running out, and 24 hours a day is not enough. i realised i always don't have enough sleep, and i'm always in stress. even on weekends, i can't sleep in, which i used to. weekends used to be my favourite, now it's just making me stress. i hate being busy, i hate living my life everyday like it's a race and i have to chase after time to make sure i reach the finish line before time runs out.

sometimes i wish somebody would really understand. there's no way i could say anything to ppl, that ppl would understand. why am i living my life like someone else's? i should live for myself and not for other ppl.

yes, i'm just like tat. i shut myself up, i just wanna go somewhere else where nobody knows who i am. my past is bullshit. i don wanna stay here, i wanna be somewhere else. some place where i belong.

i really don't understand how ppl can 'get over it' so fast. i know life do move on, but how could i if everything around me is slow moving around me. i can't seem to erase the feelings and mixture of emotionals every once in a while and it really gets to me.

you have no idea how fcked up my life is right now. i won't say my life is worst than other ppl. but i won't say my life is the best either.

i'm not like tat. energetic, easy-going, i'm not tat person whom everyone loves. i'm freakin anti-social, i make ppl hate me, and i have problems. problems ppl won't even understand. i'm not the freakin nicest person in the world, i'm the weirdest stupiest shitest person ever on this earth. why am i even living on this earth? i see no point of it.

too much shit happens in my life. and i cant get over it. i've learnt tat when things go wrong, i hav to fix it myself, without help. help comes with consequences. n when there's pain n hurt, i've learnt just to keep it to myself. talking doesn't help. ppl juz still doesn't get it.

nobody knows how i feel right now. don act like you do. cuz you don. this is not where i belong.

i should fckin fly to somewhere else n start a new life.

maybe

2010-04-24T10:08:00.002+08:00

maybe i should left this blog dead

but not deleting it

or maybe i shouldnt update alot

i want to stay low profile

hmm. pretty LOL ehh?

哦也. 看我多傻吧哈哈

2010-04-22T13:59:00.003+08:00

傻毙了

来至四组很特别的一群朋友，我不是故意要放冷你们的

你们的诚意我心领了，很谢谢你们那么的有心想和我庆祝

but, 本小姐我就是因为某些因素所以不能配合你们

真的感觉很抱歉

看来原本的sweet sixteenth没有像自己想像的那么sweet吧

管他去* i dont care

×我管你怎样说我

你来硬的我也硬给你看

你要那样说我我就更坏给你瞧

要我妥协哼没门

反正永远都是那权力大的对

说来嘛是浪费本小姐的青春×

哦也. 我怀旧了哈哈

2010-04-21T16:42:00.001+08:00

Back to Yiruma :)

``♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

kennysia.com

2010-04-21T13:56:00.004+08:00

I was surfing the net trying to google for the Brylcream Company contact information for the use of SMK Kuching High magazine advertisetment. Until something caught my eyes. Really was shocking.

Click here if you want to see the original post. Hrm, here's the thing. The so-called famous blogger, that's Kenny Sia, actually upload a post about my grandparent's salloon. Haha. Lemme copy and paste what he'd post.

Swee Mei Beauty Saloon Review

Swee Mei Beauty Saloon is this very old barber shop along Jalan Sekama that's been in operation for as long as I could remember. I've been getting my haircut there since I was a young enough to have to sit on an elevated wooden plank. Almost 20 years later they're still cutting my hair.

I kept going back there not because I like them, but because its becoming such a habit I didn't bother going anywhere else. It wasn't until much recently that I decided to get my hair done at other hair salons and I've neglected Swee Mei since then. In fact, my last visit was probably around 12 months ago.

Feeling a little nostalgic, I dropped by one day to pay them a visit.

This is the inside of the barber shop - the messy desk, the stench of lubricant, the mat on the chairs, Aaron Kwok on the radio singing 'Dui Ni Ai Bu Wan'. Waliew, its like stepping back into the same barber shop 20 years ago.

Check out their tools. Screw those shit they use in modern hair salons. Swee Mei uses brushes and talcum powders and freaking BRYLCREEM! That's 100% old school, baby. I don't know what Loreal what Schwarzkopf wtf lah.

Swee Mei is too cool for that crap. They use Brylcreem and Brylcreem only, just like David Beckham. Until he went botak.

Heck, they are so old school, even their prices are the same as they were 20 years ago. How they manage to survive in this day and age of inflation and rising petrol cost, I have no idea.

Here's a shot of me desperately in need of a haircut. My apologies for the bad lighting indoors. The Canon dSLR camera isn't mine, but its the same one I borrowed to gatecrash the Miss Tourism Pageant. Note the Bloggercon T-shirt I was wearing, compliments of the Tomorrow.SG crew. ;)

Meet my barber. He's still my favourite among the usual three in the shop. I'd like to introduce him, but 20 years of having my hair cut by him and I still have no idea what his name is. I just know him as the Ah Pek on the second chair in the barber shop.

Ah Pek is a genuinely nice guy alright. Every year, for 8 years, I'd returned from Australia and he'd attempt to strike up a conversation with me in Hokkien. And every year, for 8 years, our conversations would be the exact same topic.

Ah Pek: "Lu ding Orh Jiu tak chek hor?" (You're studying in Australia right?)
Kenny: "Si lor." (Yeah.)
Ah Pek: "Tak hamik?" (What course are you doing?)
Kenny: "Tak kar ji peng eh gao hor siang eh." (I'm doing the equivalent of level 9 over here.)
Ah Pek: "Oh... Orh jiu ji zhong eh ti si jing leng hor?" (Oh... it must be very cold now in Australia isn't it?)
Kenny: "Bo lah. Ji zhong jing juak leh." (No lah, its damn hot right now leh.)
Ah Pek: "OH! Si ar hor. Orh Jiu ga Tiong Kok si toh peng eh!" (OH! That's right. The seasons in Australia and China are opposites of each other!)
Kenny: "Mmm... tiok loh" (Mmmm... Correct.)

*awkward silence*

Anyway, I always tell my hairdressers to "Feel free to do whatever you want to do with my hair. Be creative." But there's no need for me to tell him to do that. As soon as my ass touch the seat, Ah Pek would start the session by spraying excessive water all over my head like I'm a potted plant.

After trimming most of my hair with an electric trimmer that smells like its been soaked overnight in motor oil, he picked up a huge pair of scissors and began cropping my hair slowly and carefully. His modus operandi was once again, the same as it was 20 years ago, except now the scissors is becoming blunt and squeaky, and his hands are shaking uncontrollably like he has Parkinson's.

I requested for a shampoo like I always do at modern hair salons. Ah Pek politely declined, informing me that the shampoo ~~girl~~ grandma has gone home so I decided to let it go. Aiya, I don't think I want to let him to shampoo my head lest he breaks his finger bones when he massaged my scalp.

I was getting my hair happily when suddenly Ah Pek stepped on a pedal on my chair and made me fall on my back. Skarly he pulled a knife out no where and held it against to my neck. I got so scared my balls almost shrank.

This picture could very well be mistaken for an al Qaeda hostage video in iRaq.

Actually I'm just getting an old-fashioned shave lah. Before Gillette comes along, this is how real men shave.

Ah Pek didn't use any shaving foam, just some soap water to lubricate my chin with a bristle. He shaved everything he could shave too - my chins, sideburns, my face, my neck, monobrow. No lah not my chest hair. No aftershave afterwards either, just Vicks Vaporub to soothe the burns. He even trimmed the hair inside my nose and cleaned my ears with a cotton bud. So nice.

I know all these sounds very gay lah, but Ah Pek is so fatherly you wouldn't even think about it. Anyway, 30 minutes later and this is how I look like.

Ya, I'm very shocked too. Nabeh, like I'm wearing a helmet right? I think I'm just a pussy moustache away from looking like Mr Adolf Hitler. I wonder if Desperate Addictis still gonna like me after this.

Still, at RM8.00, cannot complain lah. Its just an old-fashioned barber shop. How to compare right?

So, what do you think?

Heh. Too bad he's hair wasn't cut by my grandpa. If not i think it'll comes out better. Haha.

announcement

2010-04-20T21:42:00.001+08:00

you're not in the wrong blog.

i just change my blogskin. heh.

Kesha - Your Love Is My Drug HD Official Music Video

2010-04-20T15:36:00.000+08:00

Kesha - Tik Tok OFFICIAL VIDEO - Lyrics in Description

2010-04-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

2010-04-20T14:58:00.000+08:00

cafe-au-lait spots.

hmm. im starting to mind about it. :(

"Perfect"

2010-04-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

"Perfect" - Simple Plan

Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

笨蛋

2010-04-18T20:20:00.001+08:00

如果那叫爱

就不会有这么痛了

痛

2010-04-18T08:21:00.003+08:00

痛

痛到快受不了了

就像在一座无人岛上喊救命一样

不会有人听到的

就算有人听到

也不一定有救

眼前一片黑暗

很挣扎

很想放弃

很痛

new equation

2010-04-13T19:22:00.002+08:00

心病 + 胃病 = 减肥最佳时刻

LOL~

深思中~

2010-04-11T15:28:00.003+08:00

你值得让我等吗?

你值得让我一直陪着你吗?

刘力扬 - 《寂寞光年》

2010-04-11T15:22:00.002+08:00

是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己横行
忘了我也值得被关心

一双手一个梦
一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹

是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了，快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想有拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重

漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球

还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由

youtube -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1gGAHtO7hc

我只喜欢它的旋律~歌词有点夸张的sad~

正在尝试不要学坏

2010-04-09T19:26:00.003+08:00

偶尔想学坏

我也不知道为什么

抽根烟

喝口酒

晚上迟回家

去别人家过夜不会家

和朋友一起疯

飙车

讲"没教养的话"

出去狂逛

去clubbing唱歌跳舞

原因是

有大多很讲义气的朋友

都是抽烟，喝酒，飙车，clubbing的

害我心动多少次想尝试变坏看看

感觉应该很过瘾

很坏吧？

感谢主让我认识祂

不然我早就被朋友影响了

在我劝我朋友要学好的同时

希望自己能清楚知道什么是好是坏

不要被他们影响

不要认为他们做的事很酷

迟早一定会为一切所作所为后悔

我不要误入歧途

Last day of match

2010-04-09T19:17:00.005+08:00

Kuching High Volleyball team won 3 match in a row against CHMS1!

Ahaha~

No doubt that they're the champion, most of the guys start training when they are in primary, thats why~

Goshhh its the last match today, and tomorrow i'm gonna enter class to study.

About 2 weeks didnt study in class, geez dont know i can keep up my work or not.

Whee made a number of new friend this in this four days~ I love it! :DD

Great that the relationship between the girls teammate were better than before

So many new experience and new happenings

Weird but Awesome hahah

No.1 SMK KUCHING HIGH

No.2 CHMS1

No.3 PJ / BAKO

No.4 BGSS / LUNDU

back to normal

2010-04-08T18:43:00.004+08:00

i shouldnt think so much

wasting my precious time

LOL~

its no big deal tho

hahaha

great that everthing is back to normal

hmmmmm

found out that i am a so-called typical girl

something so simple can be so complicated

i thought i was a get going type

cool with anything that happen

LOL now i realize

i wanna change

ahahaha!

cause obviously thats better, no mahuan myself

no care this care that nonsense

about the crush thingy for last post

forget it yet? hope you do so.

ahaha wheeeeeee am not gonna care so much anymore

Thank God. :)

see it. forget it. never talk about it.

2010-04-07T23:28:00.004+08:00

i never had this feeling

since six years ago

seriously i feel like am going to cry

not that i am desperate or what

but this feeling just cant stop

bothering me till i don't even know what to do

i just randomly, naturally misses you

its late

i am suppose to be in bed

as i hadn't rest since i came home just now

i was so tired

but my mind just doesn't want to get along with my body

i don't know

my mind is all about you

when i think of you

which it just came up my mind

without even me noticing

my heart

i can feel that its starting to pain

badly

i hate this feeling

i want to stop it

remembered the last time i had this feeling

it took me four years to forget everything

obviously its hard

now what?

seek God.

爱你喜欢你太夸张了哈哈

2010-04-07T15:45:00.002+08:00

Still lonely
今天又再见到你你还是那么有型
我紧张到话都不会说就傻傻看着你

渴望永远这距离就是和你在一起
醒来发现这一切都只是我的梦境

告诉自己要冷静却又无法不想你
我的懦弱已经开始让我讨厌我自己

是你对我有戒心还是我没有自信
可是谁也不能阻止我我要暗恋你

So here I am standing all alone
在某个街头有个我在这里只为你等候

Here I am waiting just for you
开放我所有希望你能了解你能够接受

今晚渴望再见你虽然只是在梦想
短暂的甜蜜也胜过了一辈子没有你
就算没快乐结局就算从此死了心
我要付出我所有诚意只要能感动你
我愿意

So lonely

so here I am standing all alone
开放我所有我要为你怎么做你才接受我
我喜欢你我要你我爱你

故事就说到这里就算你们再好奇
我想说的都已说完了其余是秘密
在那某一个街头会流传某个旋律
那是我在轻轻唱着歌我多爱你

real insanity

2010-04-06T20:23:00.004+08:00

goshhh~ the most perfect spike and serv i'd ever seen in my entire secondary life.

no kidding. ha-ha. LOL.

but this is the first time im really getting soooooo insane. aha.

寂寞，好了

2010-04-06T20:03:00.004+08:00

拼命的上网
闷坏的胸口让我
想大声的呐喊

连做梦也感觉受伤

夜深了我怎么办
心情变的好复杂
想他念他

让记忆长出翅膀飞翔
心放空了寂寞好了

坚强外表下
我却很失落

秋天过了冬天漫长
欢愉而感伤
舍不得也只能收藏旅行的时光

寂寞感冒全都可以好的
爱多甜伤多痛都释放

没有加什么只是减一点点

哈别管我只觉得有一些不适合我现在的心情

my da fa xian.

2010-04-06T19:54:00.002+08:00

ohhhhhhhh. being a linesman was soo tiring compare to sitting in class listening to teacher talking and teaching.

well the difference is it's easy for me to get hungry if i stay in class for half day. ha-ha

LOL but it was fun seeing the guys compete. and i got to have free food to eat although i was not even hungry. hmmmm.

fyi, my da fa xian is when a person thinks more, u'll get hungry easier. ><

sprousebros.com

2010-04-04T22:22:00.002+08:00

cole mitchel sprouse and dylan thomas sprouse

hmm it feels great when i actually know how to differentiate both of them

ahah pretty easy actually. goshhhh they're cute hot guys! LOL

tired

2010-04-04T22:08:00.002+08:00

of living in the thoughts

hard to make my way out of it tho

i just cant stop that feeling

i need time

alot of time

as i get use to it

since then

since i know what is being hurt

since i know whats lonely

GOSSSHHHH stop it!

DOTA 比爱人重要吗？

2010-04-04T21:16:00.002+08:00

先说下这不是我写的本文来自这里还没看不过觉得应该很好看所以留着下次有空再看顺便分享分享 :)

Saturday, March 20, 2010 at 3:36am
Dota比赛中场休息，我忙里偷闲用Msn聊天，这个时间，没有几个人在线，我与其中的一个女孩聊得来，她告诉我她叫诺儿，我说我叫宝宝。这当然不是我的真名，
只不过这样更容易哄女孩子。诺儿给我的感觉很单纯，很可爱，她总是呵呵的傻笑。

我今年22岁，他们都说我有病，放着好好的工作不干，去打什么专业Dota，可我是一个自由散漫惯了的人，父母自有高额退休金，我住着自己的公寓。我热爱Dota，我的理想是亚洲冠军，为了它，我可以放弃一切。
我发现诺儿上网很有规律，而我也喜欢和她胡吹乱侃，别的我不敢说，哄小女生我最在行，尤其是诺儿这种单纯的。我喜欢气她，我总说她傻，她就回给我一个气呼呼的小脸，其实我是想说她傻的可爱。

他们说我是网上的害虫，因为我总是哄骗网上的小姑娘走到现实中来做我的女朋友，新鲜劲过了之后在SAY白白。我不是自夸我长得多么帅，我只是在陈述事实。
我知道时机到了，我对诺儿说：“我们见面吧！”在此之前，我已经在网上叫她一个多月的老婆了。

我坐在KFC六等她，心中暗自祈祷她不要太恐龙。9点整，一个女孩推门而进，她似乎是披着阳光进来的，好耀眼的光芒，那一刻我以为我见到了天使。
我呆呆地看者她在我对面坐下，她梳着两条小辫子，额前的碎发泛着点点的光晕，我闻得到她身上力士香皂和苹果沐浴乳的味道，她未施粉黛的脸上还带着点稚气。

“你是诺儿？”我问她。

她咬着可乐吸管“恩”了一声。

“你成年了吗？”我怎么感觉自己跟诱骗未成年人一样呢？

诺儿听了这话，抬起头盯者我，她的眼睛很大，她特认真地说：“我下个月就过二十岁生日了。”

我不知道这个世界上有没有一见钟情，但我知道我对诺儿的这种感觉是从未有过的，很强烈，也很独特。我不知道这个比喻是否恰当，但我就是觉得她像个粉嫩嫩的
草莓蛋糕，可爱到让人想咬却又舍不得。我就像被施了法术一般，话都有些说不连贯，恍惚之中，看到她朝我微笑，阳光溢出来，溅落，星星点点。

我用尽了一切我所能想得出的方法才算把她“骗”到手，在我牵起她的手的那一刻，我告诉自己，她是我的女人，一个我要保护的女人。

我照例天天打Dota，但没忘了上msn和她聊天，偶尔在泡几个MM，我几乎天天都能收到她的留言：“宝宝你要乖，不要泡MM，天冷要加衣。”

我们战队顺利地进入了前八强，今天是总决赛，午休，我看着干巴巴的饭盒，没有丝毫食。走出赛区，看见大门口蹲坐着一个熟悉的身影，走过去看是诺儿。我拍拍
她，她显然吓了一跳，见是我，舒了一口气，把一个保温饭煲递到我手里。我接过后，她慌忙把手藏到身后，可是我还是看见她手上被烫的水泡。

盒里的饭有点凉了，我问她：“等很久了了？”

“对啊，你手机关掉了。”她嘟着嘴。

“不是告诉你不要来嘛。来，让老公抱抱，累了吧？”我有点心疼。

“我不来你又饿肚子，你一点都不乖，还挑食。”

我吃着盒里的饭，诺儿坐在我身边，紧张地问：“好吃吗？好吃吗？”我大口大口的扒着饭，说实话，挺难吃的，可是我能想象得出这个连袜子都不会洗的女孩是怎
样笨手笨脚地为我做第一顿饭。心中是久违了的感动。我笑着说：“老婆的爱心午餐当然好吃了，你看我不是全部都吃光了吗？”

诺儿听了一脸满足地笑着，站起来就走。

“宝贝你去哪儿啊？”我问她。

“回家呗。“

“别急，我带你去一个地方。”我把她领进赛区，我从没领女孩儿见过朋友，更别说是赛区。队友们见到诺儿都好奇极了，“小嫂子、小嫂子”地叫着，弄得她脸蛋都通红的，队友们都跑来跟我打趣，我心里明白，我是真的爱上她了。

msn上，我问她，“诺儿，你嫁给我好吗？”
她还是呵呵地傻笑，“好啊。以前别人说什么要娶我，我觉得特恐怖，但是我现在突然想嫁人了。” 嗯，诺儿，相信我，等我攒够钱让你做最风光的新娘，我们就结婚。

虽然我们队没有拿到第一，但对于我们这支刚组成不久的队伍来说，全省第二的成绩已经是非常好的了，所以我决定继续努力，非打第一不可。

Dota的比赛越来越多，我也越来越忙，我忘了多久没想过诺儿了，我总是比赛到很晚，偶尔在msn上看到她，她也总是很沉默，我不知道她怎么了。现在想起来，才知道是自己不对，因为我从来没有关心过她是不是开心，过得好不好。

一天，
她说：“你能陪我说会话吗？”

我说：“不行啊，我现在在联系比赛正在等电话。而且马上要开赛了。”

“就一会儿也不行吗？”

“诺儿乖。”

“Dota对你来说真的很重要吗？”

“是。”

“那我呢？难道我就一点不重要吗？”

“也重要。”

“那我和Dota哪个更重要呢？”

“Dota。”我没有骗她。

很久，她的msn头像都没有再晃动。

几天后，我看到她给我的留言：“我不知道能不能等到自己比dota更重要的那一天了，以后你要照顾好自己．．．．．．”我觉得她像是在说傻话，没看完就关了msn。

几个月后，打完dota回到家已经是精疲力竭了，倒在床上一动不想动。这时手机响起来，我不想接，可它却响个没完没了。我一看是诺儿的号，就没好气地接起来说：“不是叫你这几天别打电话给我吗？你不知道我有多累……”

电话那一端传来一阵怒吼：“……你他 [ 粗话自动过滤系统 ] 还算不算是男人啊？”

不是诺儿，我一愣，“你谁呀你？”

“你甭管我是谁，明天诺儿出殡，你要也算个人，就来看她最后一眼。”

诺儿？出殡？什么跟什么呀？我还想再问下，电话戛然挂断。

忽然一股恐怖感占据了我，我拼命的回拨，很久才有人接起来，是个很苍老的声音，“你找……”

“诺儿呢？”

“她……不在了……”声音里明显带着哭腔。

我的脑袋轰的一下，难道，诺儿她真的出事了？

哪天，我看见诺儿被他们抬了出来，她脸上还带着微笑，可天使般的微笑再也泛不出光晕了，诺儿的朋友看我的眼神分明是仇视的，恨不得吃了我。诺儿的妈妈告诉
我，诺儿有血小板减少症，家里人什么都不让她做，生怕她不小心弄破了手指或是什么地方，血流不止。原以为治好了，可后来不知怎的，血小板又突然下降，心脏
功能也开始衰竭。前几天她突然精神很好，我们都明白那意味着什么，她说她想听听你的声音，打电话给你，可是关机，她说你一定在比赛呢。有人说去找你，可诺
儿不让，她说比赛对你很重要，她怕你生气，说着说着自己就哭了，我们也都跟着哭，她说肯定有一天你会明白，她比dota重要，可她等不到了……诺儿妈妈有抹起
眼泪来。

我靠在医院太平间的墙上，想哭没泪。

我好几天没打dota了，呆呆地看着诺儿的msn形象，自从诺儿走了以后，我整个人好像被抽走了力量。身和心都特别疲惫。

我打开诺儿的msn才知道，里面只有我一个人的号。

我注意到她的资料里有一个网址，打开是个心情驿站，有各种各样的故事，其中有篇文章的署名是诺儿。

“不敢想象，我就那么不可救药地爱上了他。我喜欢他的温柔，也喜欢他假装凶巴巴的样子，我想如果有一天他向我求婚，我一定会嫁给他。

我最近很不开心，我喜欢听他说话，可他却连话都不愿意和我说了，因为他很忙，他要打dota。他再也不叫我小傻瓜了，他从没说过爱我，也没送过花给我，可我还是喜欢他。

有一天我告诉他江边涨水了，他说以后陪我看，我很高兴。有一天我看见一只很可爱的小狗，他答应我，我们以后也会有一只，也叫诺儿，我很高兴。他说过几天陪我去看电影，放风筝，我特别开心，虽然这些都还没有实现，我相信总有一天会的。但我恐怕等不了那么久了。

他说dota比我重要，我没生气，因为这是实话，可是我很伤心，所以我偷偷地哭了。我想我还不够坚强，我做的还不够好，医生说我过不到下一个生日了，也就是4月4日，他还不知道我的生日呢！不过这也没关系。

我又虚弱了，刚打了几个字就很累，真的很没用。

我知道他有很多女朋友，这样也好，我走了，他不会伤心，虽然我是那样想嫁给他，我一直盼他送我玫瑰，哪怕只一支，以前有很多人送我，可我没收，因为那代表
爱情，我想我可能等不到他送我的那一天了，所以我偷偷买了一朵送给自己，我想我写什么他永远都看不见了，所以我可以随心所欲地敲打文字，我刚才打电话给
他，但他关机了。那个讨厌的声音一直重复‘对不起，您拨打的电话已关机’。我好想，真的好想再和他说说话，哪怕就一分钟，听听他的声音也好，我们好久都没
见面了，我每天都好想他。真没出息，又哭了，唉，其实我真的好放心不下他，他玩游戏时间长了眼睛会疼，我买了眼药水却没法给他，还有，他挑食……”

文章没有写完，想是她累了，结尾有一个FlasLASH，我点击Play，优雅的声音在空空的房间里回荡。

“静静地陪你走了好远好远/
连眼睛红了都没有发现/
听着你说你现在的改变/看着我依然最在你的笑脸/
这条旧路依然没有改变/以往的每次路过都是晴天/
想起我们有过的从前/泪水就一点点开始蔓延……每当我闭起眼/
我总是看见/
你的诺言全部都会实现/
我亲过你的脸/你已经不在我身边/
我还是祝福你过的好一点/ 断开的情线/我不要做断点/只想杂睡前听见你的蜜语甜言……”

Flash制作得有点粗糙，可我那憋了很久的眼泪还是滴了下来，画面的结尾还有一行行的小字。

“想听你说爱我，一声也好；

想接受你送的玫瑰，一朵也好；

想再多点时间爱你，哪怕只一天；

可是现在，我的手都已经好颤抖，好想再见你一面。”

我一个人做在漆黑的房间里，终于大哭起来，我就那样错过了你，我最爱的女人，还来不及宠你，还来不及实现诺言，还来不及让你做我最美丽的新娘。
该死的dota，我连你最后一面都没见上，我真该死。
是的，我终于明白了你是最重要的，可惜你不能在等我了。

今年清明没下雨，我放弃了dota，做了白领，我一定会要你做我最风光的新娘。

“生日快乐，小傻瓜。”

每日礼拜我都会来这里，我只想和你说说话，纯白饿墓碑宛如你的纯洁。微风像你的发丝轻佛过我的脸，想念我那依然最爱的你的笑脸。

朋友、家人都惊讶于我的改变，我不抽烟了，不打dota了，不上网了，养了一只和你一样可爱的小狗，像当初我们说好的那样，叫它诺儿，我只想再和你说说话，再送你最美的玫瑰。

who knows

2010-04-04T02:09:00.005+08:00

anyone understands me?

perhaps no one

gosh i am so flexible

well perhaps not the correct way to describe

but the time for me to change really was fast

i mean attitude

yeah fast that even me myself don't understand whats the heck going on with me

so much for the simplicity

heck yeah i am seriously complicated now

i mean attitude

LMAO attitude i say

geez be tender gal

yeahhh right

stop being too open (hmm both mentally and physically)

u gotta control your feeling

yeah stop being so so err. annoying maybe?

watch what you're doing

you're 16. 16 gal.

people's expecting something good from yah

your no kiddo anymore

grow up

gosh stop talking to myself

i know what i am doing

hey i know what you're thinking rite now.

i mean YOU. yeah you.

just ignore me. hah LOL~

dont worry am just insane (temporary)

i'll be normal SOON

wooh currently having a typical-major-teen-crush on the sprouse brothers

OHHHMEEEEGOSH they're hot

seriously HOT i tell ya

COLE MITCHELL SPROUSE and DYLAN THOMAS SPROUSE

ahah well incase you dont know, they're once my crush when i was 9, 10, 11 or so?

i'll never forget them, ohhh mann

the cutest twin eva. xD

aha well tell you before, you gotta ignore me

its really typical

the feeling will goes on and off

but puhleez, if im acting like this at the age 20,

you've gotta forgive me

ahah man they're wayyyyyyy hot.

LOL.

hmmm this is me.

sometimes

not every time

well these few days maybe

argh i dont care.

anyways, i think many of you knew i went back to my grandparents

i actually met a situation that made me have this weird feeling

LOL it was my friend. well actually not my friend.

hmm let say we've been friends before then ah wateva

last night. she got married. hmmm reason because she got pregnant

ahhh having a "friend" almost the same age as mine actually gets married at this time

not even finish her secondary life

with a so-called husband not even schooling nor having a job

im sad. seriously, i am really sad for her

it was raining since morning, Father God is sadder than all of us felt

well years ago i made my commitment, i believe TRUE LOVE WAITS

am surely not gonna do such foolish stuff

this issue not only hurts the person-self, but also all the one who loves them

...

back to the beggining *before i skip to the THEM part again*

hmmmmm

who knows me?

hah only the Almighty God knows. :)

thank God

2010-03-29T14:59:00.004+08:00

everyone's familiar with the word PRESSURE
but i don't think everyone likes it

well that's what confusing me these days
i don't think i hate the pressure thingy, sometimes i kinda like it
am no psycho but the pressure thingy just makes me live my life seriously

hrm a better theory to explain is,
the pressure actually motivate myself to think further, about my needs in the future

but one minor reason i hate about is when the pressure actually weren't strong enough or too strong that makes me think "un-logically" and makes me act the other way round,
such as in certain way it causes me to be undisciplined, getting insane or giving up in doing some stuff seriously,
which finally causes a lot of disappointment coming from my parents, teachers, seniors, God and also myself.

*skipping all the details*

by all cases i went through these days, i want to thank God.
thank God for the sad moments, happy moments, the tears, the laughter, the comfort, brothers and sisters in Christ so on so forth
thank God for EVERYTHING. :)

its because i treat you seriously

2010-03-23T15:41:00.002+08:00

how much i wish that you never appear in my life

it led me with lots of thoughts about you running in my head

when i know that it might be the very last time i saw you

it hurts deep down inside my heart

seems like the pain was neither forgettable nor able to disappear

i was so worry about your present and future

i was so jealous of you when you said it like nothing ever happen

felt so near, but yet we're far apart

miss you, i will

you'll never realize that there was once a person

cares about you even though you think she's just someone typical in your life

what im having in mind

2010-03-21T21:07:00.002+08:00

salted fish camp
hrm
not really describe-able in words
i hurted certain someone, because of less discipline and not controlling myself
i should be more mature and having proper fun

argh a lil mad and sad tho
all covers up my good feeling

but still the last night in camp was the most unforgetable programme
i admit, i was a very lucky person compare to many
i should be gratefull for what i have, and also what i dont have

met many new friends, relationship with certain friends got better compare to before
gain more knowledge about survival? LOL
seriously, i did learn SOME THINGS

well, tell the truth, im not in a mood with blogging actually

i miss you so much, im so worry about you
i hope i have the courage to find you
i wish that you'll not give me only a little response
i want to see you soon
argh please take care, i dont want anything bad happen to you

so far, i think you are a great person. :)

New Looks - My 100th Post

2010-03-12T23:56:00.004+08:00

Its already my 100th post. Kinda Unbeliveable~

Happy for that cause I thought it wouldn't last long for me to be a so-called "orange-music-lover". Hahah but for your information guys, I still love orange. My blog was now reddish-IER does'nt meant that I don't love orange anymore.

And, new songs. Some my loves, some the one I've always heard, some I just wanna listen for fun. :D No more Yiruma's. x( never gonna stay the same or else I'll get fed up.

Well back to reality, I just realize that I am always living in my thoughts. Being busy is always my excuses for stopping myself to stop thinking. Bad or not, no idea.

Hmmm finally first test for this year ENDED! hahah additional maths and physics really was a pain in the butt. :P but am not gonna back down just because I always say I hate it. Actually I do love maths! Is maths the one who don't loves me. :P

Biology assignment DONE! Never done finished an assignment so fast. Thanks to my buddies, we've done it in less than half day~ No more holiday homework le! Haha

Guitar! Jo promise me to teach meh when I go her house, hmm don't know when. No wanna go if joey's there! ><

*oooooh so hoping that I wouldnt be sun-tanned after this holiday!*

errr jin jia paiseh this post seems so sms-style and I didnt really checked through for whatever mistake. Not really in a mood to write anything actually. Used up alot of time finding music and the right template for this blog. Arh and I am so eager to go to bed fast!

Darn it I really hate making promises. Especially when you know that you have no ability to do so.

Nite nitez <3

是贪心还是想把握机会

2010-02-28T21:53:00.004+08:00

之前的游手好闲是该有个结束了
虽然说我真的很需要一段时间改善
我发现到，不久的我一天拥有24小时是一件很悲惨的事
或许，一天有了48小时才刚好给我用

当我在收拾很久没碰，没整理的书桌时，我被一张不显眼的纸，搞得让自己坐在那张陈旧的椅子思考，思想，想象今年的我会是怎样过的
初十五，也就是今天结束后，那极大的战争会开始宣战，准备要攻我那连兵和武器都没有的城

我听闻了，自己被选为pengawas...又当了magazine board committee...现在自己对form4环境又还未熟悉，功课可以说一点都不稳定 ...ISCF的情况也没好到哪里去，说实话我连该做什么何不该做什么都不知道，总之是在个很不稳定的状态中...volleyball match即将要到了，training应该也会比往常多很多...少团嘞~就这样咯，感觉好像没事，又好像很多事做似的... ...

我讨厌压力，我会在生活中会尽量寻找让自己放松的机会...若这次的我真的崩溃的话，我不知自己变成怎样...我会放弃自己吗? 这还是个谜...

先申明我指的放弃不是死，因为我不可能在未完成自己梦想前就去见神!

若我再游手好闲

若我再不听老师讲课

若我再不做完该做的功课

若我再沉迷于上网和电话

若我再让我父母失望

若我再不依靠神

若我让神失望... ...

为我祷告吧...

Just Inspirable

2010-02-25T23:00:00.003+08:00

a PERSON with a VISION

LIFE is NOT to be WASTED.just like that.

EVERYTHING IS FOR A REASON.

I step into this world,NOT TO LIVE IT,BUT TO CHANGE IT.

God cares,love,and is mercyful to all and for all.

credits to -- Quintus Maximus Gan

These days

2010-02-25T21:58:00.003+08:00

Missing me?

Well I am back now. :) But cant really promise to stay long too.

So many things happened in this period of time, I believe I've grown up a little too.

Although am still quite rebellious, but I am learning to do whats right and avoid doing whats wrong.

Still are addicted in surfing the net, if you have ways to help me, welcome to lend me a helping hand, I really need to be controlled, afraid that i'll be overspending my precious teenage on doing un-useful stuff.

Was so stressful for the last few days, tons of homework, exam's coming soon, and I still felt that I learnt nothing in this two months, hoping that I can survive the upcoming exam.

At times I am declining God, not wanting to get closer and do what I should do. Pray for me, or I shall be in big trouble. I know it myself. I was so stuck in the worlds temptation.

I starting to love Yiruma's music so much. So heart warming, relaxing, soothing it really makes me forgets all the stress and tensions. Its definitely different than the others I usually hears. Guess you'll think I am weird, but one word I am going to use to describe his music is -- MAGICAL

新发现~

2010-02-25T16:42:00.003+08:00

蛤！本小姐又无意间找到厉害的团体啊！哈哈

他们叫魔幻力量，不过还不知道他们的详情

只认识他们的一首歌，叫：我是谁我是谁我是谁

Magic Power - 我是谁我是谁我是谁

作词：廷廷 (Magic Power)
作曲：廷廷 (Magic Power)

LRC制作:活在當下 QQ:6313827

我是谁你是否常常这样问自己
我是谁总是活在别人的期望里
我是谁是谁又擅自帮你定义了
你是谁只有不是自己才安全

为什麽你以为这个世界很美丽
为什麽你爱这个世界胜过爱自己
为什麽这个世界不给你平等待遇
为什麽到底做错了什麽

朋友都说你太太太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑笑笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很很很简单
不过就是最普通的的的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看

无论他们又说什麽闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful

会不会上帝把你的灵魂放错了身体
会不会是故意整你不是不小心
会不会你常常都觉得力不从心
会不会坚持要做自己太危险

凭什麽难道比较特别就是不对
凭什麽先下了注解在认识之前
凭什麽只不过想认真的活一遍
凭什麽随便就把人定罪

朋友都说你太太太奇怪
在背後把你当成笑笑笑话看
每一个动作都被瞎猜
他们说你是个不能容忍的存在
你想要的很很很简单
不过就是最普通的的的平凡
诚实做自己有时候很难
但是请你勇敢的试一次看看

无论他们又说什麽闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful

无论他们又说什麽闲言闲语无法伤害我
世界上只有一个我没人能代替的我
无论他们又做什麽小动作无法打败我
我知道自己是最美丽的
The most beautiful
无论他们又说什麽闲言闲语无法伤害我
我是谁这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
世界上只有一个我没人能代替的我
我是谁我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽
无论他们又做什麽小动作无法打败我
我是谁这个问题困扰你多少天多少夜
我是谁谁有资格决定你怎样才是对
我知道自己是最美丽的
我是谁我是谁我是谁
我就是我你就是你
认真做自己的人最美丽

部落格：
http://www.wretch.cc/blog/mpclub2008 (之前)
http://mpclub.pixnet.net/blog (目前)

团员：
Vocal : Gaga (嘎嘎)
Vocal : Tingting (廷廷)
Guitar : Lei bao (雷堡)
Bass : Kaikai (凱開)
Drumer : A xiang (阿翔)
DJ : Gugu (鼓鼓)

Gods glory - The Fuel of Missions

2010-02-07T00:32:00.002+08:00

May the people praise you, O God; may all the people praise you. Psalm 67:3

Worship is the white-hot enjoyment of the glory of God - John Piper

You cannot commend what you don't cherish. Christians will never call out:"let the nations be glad!" if they cannot say from the heart, 'I rejoice in the Lord'!

"There is a little passion for the kingdom where there is little passion for the King."

O Lord, you are exalted above all. teach us to praise you and seek your glory so that we will naturally overflow with your love for the people around us. For Jesus' sake, Amen.

God of this city -- Chris Tomlin

2010-02-07T00:26:00.002+08:00

you're the God of this city
you're the King of this people
you're the Lord of this nation
you are

you're the Light in this darkness
you're the Hope to the hopeless
you're the Peace of the restless
you are

there is no one like our God

greater things have yet to come
greater things are still to be done
in this city

we believe. greater things.

Chinese

2010-02-04T22:29:00.003+08:00

Why should I take it if I think its a burden for me? Why should I take if I know I cant master it? Why should I take if it pressure me always?

I am certain that I'll give up Chinese. After Pep Ringkas 1.

Silent night turns Horror

2010-02-04T21:31:00.002+08:00

I was walking along a deserted street when it was twenty minutes pass midnight. My heart beat as fast as a clock ticked. The street was filled with total silence that I could even hear water droplets dripping from the roof tops, the drains and other places.

It was a damp and cold night. All lighting's at the housing areas around me had been switched off. The only light that lit up the street was the old street lamp at the corner of the street. I was walking slowly as I enjoyed the peace and quietness.

Suddenly, there was a big wind blowing towards and passed through me, led me with shivers and coldness beyond my skin. I began to hear uncertain sounds such as human footsteps, and the light at the corner of the street started blinking on and off.

I pretended that I saw nothing, until I heard someone called my name from behind. I turned and looked, but I did not see anyone. All of a sudden I had goosebumps and felt a slight terror. I thought I had also seen shadows of "something" or "someone" following me.

I stopped. I felt slime beneath my shoes. Then a big size guy with fangs and a pale face appear suddenly a few steps of my. My heart races. I began to run and tried to shout as loud as I could but there was no sound coming out from my mouth. I was horrified and my thoughts were all blank.

All I did was run and run and run. When I gained consciousness, I realize I had run for almost an hour. I could hear it, my heart was beating fast and loudly. I could hear my breath, gasping for air. When I stood and look around, I found out I was standing in the middle of a cemetery.

I was speechless, terrified by what I had seen, There were skeletons all around. Scent of dead bodies suddenly filled my senses. I was disgusted. I barely dared to take amother peek. I wanted to call for help but I felt that I had no more energy to talk nor walk.

I felt something dripping from my shoulder and wet part of my clothes. I did not dare to move a little. I turned my head and looked at my left. i saw the "guy" earlier and it was actually biting on my shoulders. I was shocked and horrified at the same time! the guy was actually a vampire, and it attacked me when I did not realize anything. I know I won't won the battle with this horrifying beast. I gave up and I did not move. Just letting the vampire drink my blood as he or she wanted. i felt weaker and weaker time after time and I lost total consciousness......

Tumblr. :D

2010-02-03T18:53:00.004+08:00

ooh its tumblr. im starting to love it. xD hope i wont neglect my bloggy. ><
try check out mua tumblr! xDD

booyah.xD

2010-02-03T13:46:00.003+08:00

okayy so today was fine too. :D

before sch -- i saw ah kua! wondering why he werent in austrailia but wearing kch high sch uni?
bm -- i copied my notes.

add maths -- absent.

maths -- time flies.

sejarah, eng -- i finished reading my xxx book.

what happen to him? y no one comforts him? why is he seem so upset? y he cried?

Loves the day ♥

2010-02-02T16:24:00.004+08:00

School was'nt depressed without maths. I LOVE today. I LOVE tuesday ♥

Perhimpunan -- Exchanged class.

Biology -- Absent.

Chinese -- Presentation.

BM -- Nothing's on.

Physics -- No figures today.

BI -- The teacher finally talks faster.

Only the close one'll know what I meant. ♥

Half Full or Empty?

2010-02-02T15:59:00.001+08:00

Neither.

anger and dissapoinment

2010-02-01T13:20:00.005+08:00

Once rebel, always will be.
Thanks to the "GOOD EXAMPLE" setted for me.

I'll smash you into bits and pieces.
I'll treat your things as NOTHINGS.

If you dare piss me off.
I'll hurt you.

Families are loving and encouraging at times. Yeah talk out the crap. Face it idiot! You're family were not the same! They never trusted and understands you! They called you the EVIL ONE! Shit. They scold you always and say you're always the one who makes mistakes. They're so NONE-SUPPORTIVE! yeah thats right. You're always wrong! and the younger ones are the right ones. they're always the "little angels" in your' eyes. SHIT.

A 3inch toungue is able to kill a 6 feet tall human. Great. You've killed me.

CYW tour concert

2010-01-31T15:29:00.003+08:00

One Accord Ministry (1a.m.), Relent -- CHANGE YOUR WORLD tour concert

Time: 6pm-10pm

Date: 30th January 2010
Venue: INTI college auditorium

the band -- Relent

Daniel Krishnan, Neil Batiancila, Cuzario David, Jude Limus

Jude Limus -- the person i've mentioned earlier. :D but still all are gifted and talented musicians. :)

yeah babe! i'm changed and prepared! xD

oooh its them! xD with the 1a.m. directors -- Kelvin & Cathryn Lim

Bored 2.

2010-01-31T15:22:00.003+08:00

curl curl hair.xD did it when I had nothing to do at my granparents hse.:D owh don worry if i'll look lyk xiao zha bo. I wont let any1 c it in real person.xP

maggie with cheese. DAYYYYYUMMMMMM~ xD

Bored.

2010-01-31T15:11:00.003+08:00

mondaytuesdaywednesday thursdayfriday

remember my 1st week at school? xD this is what I did cause theres nothing to do.xP

5th week

2010-01-29T21:58:00.002+08:00

I missssssssss my blog so much. :D
Its been two week since its been updated. Owh those were moments that are hard to go through. I've realize that blogging is something very important in my life routine. Is that bad news or good news? I've no idea.

I guess form 4 is no more new for me. I am getting used to the routine, so I guess everything was just fine. Just I think time passes so fast. Its almost the end of first month and I dont feel like I've learnt waht I should learn. Must add oil in studies! No more honeymoon this time.>< So much to say. But I dont know how to spit it all out. Suddenly feel that writing is so important. If I wrote something people cant understand, its useless. Thats where I need to add loads of oil. Think thats all for now. :D

St John HQ? Aites I duno lerrrrrrrrrrrrrr.><

Gerko 01/2010

2010-01-16T20:03:00.004+08:00

Im late. I purposly do that because until now, Im kinda in a dilemma situation. Ooh I just cant decide to join ELS(english language society) or LEO club.>< I went to school at 0930, which is the time the second part start. Volley with all my LURVES. Including Beca.:D

Skip lunch Because am afriad to be late for St.John. Arh its sort of a weird shoking experience. I went there and Kai Jie told me to attend the next AJK meeting. Does that means im an AJK now? Im blur too.=) Josh welcum me so I guess, maybe im in. Dayyumm happy.XD

Arh walk walk around, no more sitting there listen to seniors talking.>< Not really used to it but I think I'll be loving it. XD Ooh the station game makes me WET. But seriously, I like it when I watched other members playing but not playing the station games.XP Most of them were kinda cute. Never realise St.John can be so amusing.

One more time, the same thing happen. I left my things in school AGAIN. Aiiyeeee why am I so forgetful? XP

Im happy. He take the first step. Im tired. My leg HURTS. XD

Ooh he'll be leaving very very soon. Cant imagine how my life will be by then.><

Tired

2010-01-15T20:46:00.002+08:00

This long distance walk just hurts my leg badly. The rain make it worst.

Hes leaving soon. Its far for using legs. But its nearer for using fourwheel.

In conclusion, I need to learn DRIVING fast. Wait it should be getting my driving license asap. ><

End of second week.

2010-01-15T20:03:00.006+08:00

Second week. Quite okay. But im kinda tired already. Everyday finding ways to survive. Tired, headache beacuse of ADDITIONAL MATHS and MATHS. Ayytes.

Met some new friends. But also being bully by somes. == Haha. Over all everything was quite fine if additional maths and maths werent so complicated and hard to understand.

ISCF had new teachers! I likke them. :D

Rain rain for whole day. Running nose for whole day too. Ish. Makes me even tired.

*read this passage at your own risk* RETARDED. >< I was going back from school then I found out my things were left in school. Then I ask my mum to bring me to school to find my things. I told her to leave me there, I'll stay at school with my brother. Then I continue looking for my pencilcase. I went to AVA2, walk around canteen, then to 4s2 to look for my stuff. I found nothing. I gave up, went to look for my brother. Ooo he's at cyber. So I walked to cyber. While I was walking, heavy rain poured down from the sky. When I reached cyber, found out I'll have nothing to do there. Then I walk again to buy my lunch. Its 3oclock. I was thinking to go back to school but but thinking that I'll have nothing to do there too. *plus its raining thats why I consider a place where its nearer to hid from rain* Lol after moments I change my mind. I decided to walk to my mum office. Heavy rain just kept pouring down form the sky. I was freezing, my legs were hurting. I reached mum office about four and thats when I ate my lunch.== the most gek diok d part is------I found my "LOST" things in my bag. Arggggggggggghhh. Im just wasting my whole afternoon doing stupid stuffs. Hrm. What an unforgetable experience.==

Ooooh im crazy today.

Idk

2010-01-12T16:47:00.002+08:00

I dont purposely do that but
It really hurts me when I visit your page.

All of that conversation made me envy of it and asking,
Why am I such a coward?? Just say Hi, no harm rite?

Dont know why I just dont dare to make that first step.

Fine

2010-01-12T15:52:00.006+08:00

This two days were just nice. Better than last week.
But Add maths and Maths just hurts my head. Its so confusing.

Went to ELC last night. The teacher's so amusing. New classmates were okay too. Class was fun. Cant wait for tomorrow. On my way to improve my English! :D

U wouldnt know that I MISS YOU.

Missing the Smiles

2010-01-09T22:35:00.002+08:00

Missing the care, concern and LOVES.
Thanks God for letting me experience her faith for God and the warmths of her heart.
May God took care all of her families and friends.

I love her. I'll miss her.

End of first week.

2010-01-08T23:46:00.006+08:00

Everything is still the same. Except making some new "friends".

Its so hard to socialize. I dont want to tolerate. Why should I do that if Im not wrong and you're not right? Ohh. Aint going smoothly.

Some were fine. But aint the talking types. Some have distance in between, dont know how how how. Anyways Audrick is leaving to TECH. >< I'll miss him, for real. XD Hey its been so many years, I wont be getting use to a queit class without his noises and stupidness, messing around with the class and teachers.

This week is the bord-DESS week compare to all schooling days I've jad in all my life. I wonder, when I'll be having fun again? Its sorta becoming a routine, I just dont have much to talk about anymore. I might be quiet one day. Hrm.

It makes me think alot when I am always quiet and silent. I am scared of thinking. Seriously its like my brain feeling the pressure from time to time without resting, and I cant control even a thing. I'll start thinking nonsense and that brings me no good. Been there, done that. Everything collides and ohh what an experince. So intricate that I cant even descibe how it is.

The news is, am still taking chinese. Taking because I dont want ACC, not because I like chinese. But didnt meant I hate it too. Just feeling the pressure reading all the idiom, poem and stuffs. Memorizing hurts the most. Simple to say, I want to focus on English. But now I have three language to keep up.

Moving to my grandparents house next week. This time I am seriously not going to online during weekdays. Less contact but still, keep in touch! :D

Nothing new. Still putting the blame on myself for slow response. Emphasize-ing : SLOW RESPONSE. Ooh shoot. How long will I stay being so sentimental?

Sad Down Sob.

2010-01-07T20:07:00.004+08:00

I dont meant to let go the chances!!!! But I stupidly done that. ><

Ohhhmigosh. The incident occured and I just stand there doing nothing. Pffffffffft. I was thinking how to make my response but I didnt! Goshhh. If I do, I might fullfill what I've wish for one year ago!

Sob Sob Sob. Now all I do is passing by where the incident occur, looking at the person involving and blame blame BLAME myself for responding slow. What to do now? Wait for another year? I am not that young anymore kayy? Gahhhh.

One more thing. Should I let go CHINESE? One more day for me to think and all will be no changes can be done by then.

Its me.

2010-01-04T14:30:00.004+08:00

Teacher ask : Eh. How to read your name? Erm. You have any shorter names?

Sometimes after that : You what race ar? Wah! You look like chinese hor.

Its a so-called very typical question that had to be asked if someone just met me. Lol.

Everything will be just fine.

2010-01-04T14:14:00.005+08:00

My grandpa is going for operation tomorow. Hope everthing'll be alright. *pray*

My mum say maybe we'll be staying at my grandparents house for a few months after everything's fine. I do hope I can stay there and help mummy look after my grandparents.

First day

2010-01-04T13:54:00.003+08:00

Its my first day in school for the year 2010. First I rush down the car, well no really rush then to see where's my class and who's my classmate.

I feel kinda down after glancing through the name list. There's only one girl from my old class. Most classmates in 4s5 were from class A and B.

Owh shoot. I hope I was really good in making friend like what my buddies had said. In 4s5 I dont even dare to speak, its so different like the past. I guess many know I like to talk yahh? Sudden silent for half a day and its like Owhhhmmyyyy!! I hate it so much!! Well, I'll try my best tommorow.

Recess time I went to see my friends in 4s2. I am so happy that I almost cried! Lol. Aiyahh I really miss them alot bahh. After recess I do felt a little more better. I want to learn how to socialize! Hrm this is my chance and I do hope everything goes well.

I just MISS die my old friends.

Banned

2010-01-03T19:45:00.003+08:00

No PC on weekdays!

Unless someone caught me using during weekdays, dont tell my parents wor. *shhh*

Haha.XP

I'll be updating my blog on weekends if I miss it.

king of fruits

2010-01-03T19:38:00.004+08:00

Its the KING of FRUITS -- DURIAN

Hrm. I seriously dont hate it but I seriously dont like it Nor love it.

Its the seoson and UGH! Im living with it, dont know till when. Just hope nothing happen to me.

Whoots! U've heard me! I am a anti-king of fruit person!

Back to school.

2010-01-02T22:14:00.002+08:00

Am in my pinafore again! Cant believe its already my 4th year in secondary.

Form4, here I come! :D

-- hoping to find TRUE FRIENDSHIP in new class *glupp*

4S5

2010-01-02T19:49:00.004+08:00

Whoots~
4S5 erhhh..

What i've heard is theres no any buddies thr. Hrm. Wonder if its true, how will I end up???

Hua, Hou Yuh, Hong, Audrick.

If there really is Audrick, it'll be the 10th year I am in the same class with him le. Craps. I dunno hw to describe my feelings now. Happy or sad? Neither.

为什么啊

2010-01-02T18:37:00.003+08:00

看到你和他吵架

我还帮你，难道.......

Tradition

2010-01-01T02:02:00.002+08:00

Morning! :D

First day of 2010 and I am awake at 2 am. Whoots!

Its like a tradition staying up late till morning during new years eve. Every year I've been doing the same thing. Funny e? Why I just dont go to bed and cuddle up my blankie? Lol.

Anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone~ May the year ahead will be fullfilled by Gods blessing. :D

♥

2010-01-01T01:51:00.004+08:00

Its the LOVE.

Although we argue, we still have our sweet moments together.

Cant believe we've been best friends for 13 years. :D

Its Today

2009-12-31T09:09:00.003+08:00

Yeah Mornin Peeps!!

Woah its been a retarded night for me. I cant sleep! I went to bed at 12, I slept at 3. See? I am so excited about 31/12!

Nahh. I've found out the reason why I cant sleep when I woke up this morning. Guess why?? Because I drank a cup of caffine before I went to bed. Pfft.

Woo today's the 31st! Later at ONE we're going to have the last practise of dramas in church! And tonight we'll be performing already! Its been three months I am waiting for this day to come.

I'm Nervous, I'm Nervous, I'm NERVOUS!

*pray to God He'll lead our way through his guidance.*

31/12

2009-12-30T23:04:00.003+08:00

Tomorow is coming soon! Woo I am so excited! Haha. Theres going to be dinner, praise and worships, dramas,choirs and preaches! Can't wait for it~

It'll be the last day of 2009 and we're going to countdown together with the brothers and sisters in church! :D

31/12, here I come!

主，我感谢你

2009-12-30T13:30:00.002+08:00

[1]主我感谢你道路虽然遭遇试验
但我坚强不停向前
应你引导我

主我感谢你试验来临必有忍耐
使我灵命更得丰盛
更坚强稳固

[2]主我感谢你在得胜的道路当中
克服一切艰难困苦
生命更可贵

主我感谢你当各样事向你呈献
使我得见你的圣容
永在你怀中

副歌：
每逢我遇到事与愿违
要放下肉体的意念
让圣灵来掌管我所做的一切

如果当那试验来临
而放纵肉体去行事
就必然不体会神亲切的指示

在一年就要结束时，往往都会回想今年到底在做些什么
想想这年你是怎样度过，过得很遗憾，还是过得很丰盛

发现原来神一直都在身旁
透过家人，同学，教会的弟兄姐妹等人
让我在这年里过得很愉快，我一点都不孤单

感谢神
祂带领我走过一切困苦艰难，领我走正义路
感谢神
道路虽崎岖，祂依然引导我坚强不停向前
感谢神
在试验来临时能忍耐使我灵命更得丰盛

Rants

2009-12-30T12:23:00.004+08:00

Are you busy these days? I've been waiting for you to contact me. But, you didnt.

Cant you just tell me what are you busy at? Why dont you at least say sayonara so I'll not be wasting my time waiting for you? Why are you making so worried everytime?

You're leaving. wth. I am just, scare that i'll loose contact with you. And I dont want that to happen.

It's going to be a hard time after your farewell and having less chances to see you.

Hah v funny. Hey I am just treating you as a very important person because you're kinda like a best friend to me. You disturb me for no reasons, I am used to it already. You're a great friend, there's only compliments, aint no critics.

Joshua 2

2009-12-30T00:38:00.004+08:00

为何几乎每张照片中，他的眼神总是那么的犹豫? 感觉像是心事丛丛的样子?

看了他的照片，都有点开心不起来。好像在放空，又好像在担心什么。惨了，都被他影响。自己也开始皱眉头，想破头他到底是怎么了。

真的很怪啊。为什么几年前的照片又不一样呢? 以前的他，和现在的他，变了吗?

Joshua

2009-12-29T23:57:00.006+08:00

I believe most people know him erh? Names Joshua Ang 洪赐建. Hes a mediacorp actor. Remember the movie "小孩不笨"? Well, hes one of the main actor.

Recently just saw a movie named 兵乓圆. Hrm. Its been awhile since I watch the movie he'd act in.

Nevermind. The love for me to him is back. XD Hah! Owh btw, I cant believe I am a friend of him in FB! Omeegosh~ After leaving comment in one of his status, am going nuts! Because I never realize he accepted me. Haha!

for more info about Joshua, kindly click here.

Killer

2009-12-29T21:12:00.006+08:00

It was a rainy night. Winds blowing, lightning and thunders strike through the droplets of rains.

I was walking out, helping mummy to close the gate after she drove out, sending my sister to church. I am holding an umbrella, concentrating on how the rain falls and feeling the blows of winds.

Moments after I wore my slipper, I hear a sudden CRACK beneath my leg. I was wondering what was that and when I had a close look, I was disgusted.

Its all over. I shivered when I had a glance at it, feeling so scared and thought that I am going to puke. I dont dare to have another look, as the way it died was really very terrifiying. I am blaming myself for not switching on the lights, and not looking where am I going.

I am a killer. -----------I killed a pity old SNAIL. Geez. I stepped on it and its all flat and disgusting. Eww yeah? Lol. Now what I am worry about is, how should I remove its died body and clean the remaining stains on the floors in front my HOUSE???

Lesson of the day: Switch on the light if its dark. Dont think that your eyes can see everything.

Insane

2009-12-28T23:41:00.007+08:00

Can't find what I've been looking for.
I lost what I once had.
Its gone because I neither care nor think about it when I had it.

1st lesson learnt: appreciate what you have and if its possible, make yourself a copy of the things that you think its important.

I tell him what he wants to know.
I trust him so I make an open for the deal we've made.
He disappear after I told him which makes me feel that I am so stupid for trusting him.

2nd lesson learnt: dont trust a person whether you know him well or not. A person changes.

Retreat

2009-12-27T17:30:00.003+08:00

Hey peeps!

Just came back from Retreat. Wow both my legs really hurts. But there's still thousands and millions of warmths in my heart.

Seeing that everyone is caring for each other, the concern and the care just kepts reminding me that I am not alone, and how lucky am I. It's really a blessing to join youth, knowing so many big brothers and sisters that loves you for no reason, guide you trough all pains and stuggles, gives you support when you're down, and share the happiness the've gone through.

In the begining, I was really planning to give up and I was so furious, whether to back out, leaving youth and not joining them. Its really a hard time thinking whether to give up or not and to decide what to do next.

I am very greatfull that HE is by my side from time to time, leading my way through the words from seniors while they're sharing their experiences during retreat. During this two days, I've consumed many precious lessons, and also having a better and closer relationships with all.

In conclusion, it's a meaningful trip!

p/s Many friends of mine diok fever, so take care everyone.;D Rest more and drink loads of water! haha.

Results

2009-12-24T16:56:00.000+08:00

Its just a typical thursday. Except woking up with glush of excitement and thoughts saying :" ahh~ its today!! im nervous, im nervous, im nervous!!" kept repeating on and on and on.

Well, I sleptover at Rebecca house yesterday and i've been following her till now. (skipping to the point-------)

Negh. Its kinda shocking when I got my result. But the first thing that came in my mind is :"Woah~ Erm.. Should I be happy or Sad?" I failed no subject, I A's the so-called must A subject. But I didnt achieve what I targeted.

But most importantly, must thanks Lord for everything! =)

Avatar

2009-12-24T16:55:00.003+08:00

Seen it yesterday.

From the director of Titanic, this movie was also absolutely cool~

I love it! Credits to 3D!

D.I.S.C.

2009-12-22T18:36:00.005+08:00

Is DISC related to why I am so negative now?

I am a rare DC, is that why I am always so confuse and unfaithful?

长大

2009-12-22T15:36:00.005+08:00

长大

可以快乐，这我知道啊

但不知从何时开始

自己连对错都不会分了

不久前才发现自己一直活在忙碌的谎言下

原来是我一直用忙碌来逃避事实

我不想要这样

却又不知道要怎样

Growing up is optional, 是吗?

Am I being sentimental? 或许说

自己已无法再掩饰自己本来的样子吧?

我不想

2009-12-21T18:11:00.006+08:00

我不是我...还是，我想太多...

以前的单纯，真诚的自己，不见了吗?

想回到过去

长大这过程让我无法透气

短宣

2009-12-21T15:34:00.002+08:00

短宣回来咯

有许多许多感触

宝贵的记忆，也学到很多东西

或许说在这段时间里我有什么做的不足

我要在此说声对不起

也或许说我在这段时间里干了啥过分的

我要在此说声不好意思

这段时间我做了好多好多连自己都无法想象的突破

到现在都有点怕怕

一个人可以有勇气

但不可以过分利用

一个人可以有突破

但必须要想到结果

求神给我聪明智慧

好好利用祂赐给我的恩赐

并且凡事都要寻求祂的旨意

不要有自我

我要放下虚假的自己!

Lost

2009-12-11T23:20:00.003+08:00

D:
I had my camera, with MANY pictures~
But, I lost my cable. Boohoo.

That means, no photos! YET.
Patience guys, i'll find it...soon? hah.

K, just a lil brief wat i do last ten days.
I went to West Malaysia- KL mostly, Penang, Langkawi, passed by Kedah, Perlis and Ipoh.
Its my first time, so what? xp

This trip makes my eye open wide, wide I tell ya!
I do feel sad sawing many beggars around, dirty lands, unhealthy air, and MORE.

Not quite fascinated by how great technology's this days,
What I saw was just so, UGH.

Reality was all about MONEY, CASH, CREDITS, STATUS, and blaah.

Unavailable

2009-11-27T13:36:00.003+08:00

He guys, currently my blog will be dead for a week or maybe two.
I promise for more better post when I came back.

Miss me! =)

27 November 2009

2009-11-27T12:53:00.007+08:00

Sneezing, whining, coughing, yawning, Acheing.
What a bad start for the day.

今天是儿童假日营的第三天，
一醒来觉得浑身不舒服。
恨不得想多睡点，
因为实在太累了...

到教堂时，
他们一样即将开始了。
没想到又再度迟到!
不好意思也太没意思了。

坐着看老师讲故事时，
总不知不觉打瞌睡。
但鼻子又塞，
超不舒服的说。

吃完茶点后，
趁洗杯收拾时晒晒太阳，
再找事往楼上楼下跑，流汗。
过后，就好多了呗。

小朋友们开始和我聊了很多，
一起八卦，玩乐~
几位较小的就拿我当玩偶,
帮我修整头发,
弄完后又哈哈大笑!
真是的。

和小朋友们感情慢慢熟了起来，
感觉真好~
和他们在一起非常享受，
非常开心!

没想到，
可以在营会遇见他。
自从他生日就没再遇到了，
聊了很多有的没的，
看见他也长大许多，
但也慢慢学坏。
很欣慰他还很相信我，
但好害怕哪天会控制不住他，
想让他学好也来不及了。

Magic2

2009-11-26T23:31:00.006+08:00

Whoots!

Another episode of Cyril's Magic!

Too hard not to believe. Its too real and totaly awesome!

Serious man were the most eyecatching ones! *man as for HUMANS*

Opinions?

2009-11-26T23:24:00.004+08:00

What color looks good on me?

1White
2Red
3Orange
4Yellow
5Green
6Blue
7Indigo
8Purple
9Pink
10Grey
11Black
12Gold
13Bronze
14Silver

Others?

p/s Pick the color which came in mind first, dont based on my liking nor yours. thanks~

Sick

2009-11-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

*cough cough*

what the heck.
sudden sore throat sucks!

26.11.2009

2009-11-26T16:25:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday~

Easpecially to Alex Kong and also Alex Poh!

hahas~

2012

2009-11-26T16:04:00.003+08:00

Seen Thrice.

First time.
It really freaks me out that time, especially when its countdown to one, where the wave strikes towards all so-called spaceship.

Second time.
Lazy to watch. Doing two things at one time, maybe Im not into movie-ING that time.

Third time.
Okay. This time I do watch. Not all scene but only the important ones. Another way to say is the disc my dad bought were pirated. Many scene were cut. =p

But theres still something common when I watch the movie. I wont miss the touching part, *the one i thought* the author was gone and he appears and everyone was cheering and so joyful.=)

Hey! Stop polluting! Save our earth!

26 November 2009

2009-11-26T13:20:00.006+08:00

今天，是儿童假日营的第二天.
时间过得还真快，
今天的节目都结束了。
只好等待明天快点来到喽。

感觉比昨天还要累，
可能是晚睡早醒的结果吧。
原本还打算不要醒来的。

干! 还迟到!
学生的名牌都是我拿着，
他们就得等我来才能拿到。
害得我不好意思了啊。

今天算是过得蛮顺利的。
连那顽皮爱捣蛋的都乖乖听我话。
慢慢也被小朋友信任，
东西都个个交给我保管!

当然有些搞到太熟，
把我当成同伴，
顺便也趁机欺负我! 干!
谁叫我好心,
不跟他们计较! 哈哈
但希望他们不会变本加厉啊，
不然我真的没办法对付他们了。

四年级的学生拍了团体照，
一眼望过去就像是个大家庭。
20位同年龄的学生，
第一次在教堂遇见。
若我在教堂有20位同年龄的朋友，
那感觉好像很棒啊!

四年级他们就开始有男女之分别，
一geng男，一geng女的。呵呵。
说到这让我想起几位小弟弟，
见到我还那么*派协*，
感觉又好像很怕我。
哎哟，我很恐怖咩?

Autumn - My Fav Season ღ♥

2009-11-25T20:42:00.007+08:00

Smile with the warmest heart ever! ღ♥

Hidden LOVE needs to be discover! ღ♥

Cherish everyone and every moments you have~ ღ♥

迷失

2009-11-25T17:19:00.004+08:00

之前一度感觉好像已迷失自己

无论如何努力都无法走出那看似无出口的迷宫

不过现在的我似乎慢慢的寻找到自己

也发现了一路上带给我许多困扰的绊脚石

盼望自己能在最短的时间内

无阻顺利的走出那若隐若现的出口

肯求天父给予我力量，带领我。

25 November 2009

2009-11-25T16:51:00.004+08:00

今天是儿童假日营的第一天，
我和一大群弟弟妹妹混了一早上。
肢体虽然疲累，
但仍感觉非常开心!

不知为什么，
陪着他们在一起做事时，
自己的烦恼忧虑什么的都忘了一干二净，
感觉轻松多了。

看到那些可爱又单纯的小孩，
不知不觉也羡慕起他们呢!
无忧无虑的，
开开心心的玩乐。

当然，也有一群顽皮的小朋友，
以大欺小，
喜爱捣蛋!
搞到我头都痛了啊...

还以为大班的学生懂事了，
哪知也有几位固执调皮的，
超难控制，最后
只有交给他父母处置喽。

回想今天时，发现
现在的小朋友越来越不认自己小了
真是可爱的让人想笑!

说什么游戏很幼稚，
最后自己还玩得不亦乐乎。

学无止境

2009-11-24T19:57:00.002+08:00

文艺。

我好想学，
学写出简短却又充满意义的话。

应从何处起呢?

Lonely

2009-11-24T19:35:00.003+08:00

Sudden lonely?

Im not sure. I want to be real. Learn how to socialize.

Or maybe. Start loving myself.

Aint burden but Blessing

2009-11-22T00:37:00.002+08:00

我不应该发牢骚
我不应该抱怨

感恩在先
然后把一切交托给神

感谢神
让我在困难瓶颈中还能给我领悟
陪伴我鼓励我

Holidays

2009-11-20T01:16:00.004+08:00

What am I doing these days?

Lets see, I've done many chores, watched many movies and dramas, read several old magazines, chat with certain friends, played some boring games, playing piano or should I say practice few new pieces, reading books and hrm, I guess thats all.

By the way, I've watched three dramas at once, kinda new for me because its quite a lot compare to last time. I do enjoy it.XD

Currently watching "下一站，幸福", "海派甜心", and "桃花小妹".. Owh owh, I just finished watching "2012" and "Night at the Museum2" also. Came to think of it, I think its a lot!

Sorry for the late update. Hahas. Although its holiday but my heart aint into blogging.=)

Due to the worse weather, hope everyone take care of themselve. Lastly, best wishes to all SPM candidates! XD